Most people look nice and civilized only because they are not confronted by a direct competition. They never know directly the people they are competing with.
Humans quickly return to a jungle status once they know the people competing with them for the same things.
You are looking for a job. You are in competition with hundreds if not thousands of people but you don’t know them.
If people would know these people, they might try to harm them in a way or another, like steal their resume, badmouth them, poison them, etc.
You are interested in a beautiful girl. You are in competition with tens of other males, but you don’t know them directly.
Often, when men would discover their competitors, they would become hateful and in some cases they’d try hurt them including killing.
Often than not, Nice people would turn ugly when they know the people they are in competition with.
Show a man, the guy courting his wife. Show a woman, the lady taking money from her husband. Show a job candidate, the lucky guy who is up to grab the position he applied for.
See how nice couple turn ugly when they have to separate or divorce, competing for some assets.
See how families break once inheritance sharing turn ugly.
Most people have never face direct competition, with a person they wish to kill in face of them. Therefore they indulge into the nice people syndrome until the day.
Therefore, the best definition of civilization is the art of making competition between humans indirect.
Indirect competition means you don’t know the people you are in competition with, or the competition is mediated by an institution.
In the end, I understand that one should be able to hate deeply, to be able to feel and appreciate what is love, or deep love. Everything else is infatuation disguised as value.
The truly civilized people are those who continue to respect their competitors they know might steal their day!