Gender Trap

Women look for men to marry. 

Men look for woman to marry. 

That’s a trap. 

A ‘Man’ is a social construct: protector, provider, visionary, leader, domineering, imposing, intimidating, bold, inaccessible, admired, feared, …

If a male person matches most of those attributes, he would then qualify for the honorable title a man,  and consequently become attractive in the eyes of women!

A ‘woman’ is also a social construct. Like the French philosopher and feminist Simon de Beauvoir put it in her book The second sex, ‘one is not born woman. One becomes a woman’. 

A woman means: passive, submissive, quiet, deferring, obedient, unchallenging, fatalist, convenient, servant, feminine, …

Simon de Beauvoir called those attributes ‘eminent’ qualities, while she called male attributes above ‘transcendental’ qualities. 

If a female person matches a majority of the eminent qualities, she then qualifies, as a woman … sorry… a good woman, because a woman alone is scary. 

These two social dresses are a requirement under the patriarchy regime. 

If a male person does not learn, train, adopt or conform to the listed attributes, he’d fail to be viewed as a man, and lose the social status granted to men. He would not be considered respect-worthy or attractive for mating.

The failed male would not be  viewed as attractive by females who are women, and would be ostracized by other males who are men.

It’s an identity failure, like a failure at your final exam!

If a female failed to learn, train, adopt, or conform to the attributes of a woman, she will not be viewed as a good woman; would be rejected by females who are women, and lower their mating opportunities. She would be un-mariage-able.

Why am I writing this? 

Even nowadays, patriarchy values are so entrenched that most of us are trapped into those old times gender roles unconsciously. 

I’d often surprise feminists who wish to escape the narrow boundaries of women status, but be only attracted to males who qualify as men in the traditional sense. A disaster in matchmaking!

Freeing women from their narrow boundaries and limitations without freeing men from their heavy handed attributes would only get us that so far. 

Males are tired of being men. 

Females are angry about women status. 

Why not scrap the whole apparatus down? 

Are you a man? Do you still wish to be a man? 

Are you a woman? Do you still wish to be a woman? 

If not who would you be? 

Ps: if you don’t get the difference between male and man, female and woman, you won’t understand the post. 

If that is the case, put your middle finger in your warm hole to get it!

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