How I Saved My Couple

In Paris, the most popular guys with French girls are Congolese. They dress well, they are word smith (they know how to talk to the wild imagination of girls), and they’d lavishly spend when it comes to having fun.

As good as they are as joy riders, they usually make very poor long term partners, because they always have money problems and are not very loyal in couple.

Abracadabra, four months ago, I met a Congolese chemist, writer and literature critic who has all the good advantages of a Congolese man, without any of the disadvantages mentioned above. He gave me good lessons about how to make a couple work.

He said, “The moment we agreed to get married, I told my future wife that for me a couple is a long term investment, not a solution to someone’s loneliness or just because we have great sex. I said to her I don’t want to start a couple and get quickly divorced because of a mood swing or hormonal hike, or merely because she has met an upgraded guy who dress better than me, cut his hair like the latest trend in women magazine, drive a nicer car, and got a bigger title. Let’s stop right here now, if with every hormonal change, you want something new or different, I told her. Either we pledge to make this work regardless of the difficulties, temptations, and errors, or we don’t get started at all. For me this is a long term investment, in you, in our future kids, in our wellbeing. I’m here to enjoy the fruit of that investment, because I know I have chosen the most beautiful, the kindest and the only woman which deserves my entire heart, mind and body for … eternity”.

“Wow… That was a straightforward discussion. I like that” I said.

“People divorce nowadays after watching a movie or reading a people magazine. I don’t want such kind of people in my life” the Congolese pressed forward.

“We men also make a mistake. We are too much focused on what we want and forget all about what a woman wants. We expect women to give us sex when we want. We almost take that as a right. Even if the woman is not in the mood, we expect her to give us sex. Generally, women accommodate us. Now, do you know what women also expect from us unconditionally?”
He asked me.

“Hummm… No, I don’t” I replied.

“I call my wife everyday, since we are here, to tell her how much I love her, and how much I miss her when I’m so far away from her. Do you think I always feel like that? No. It’s my duty to tell my wife how much I love her, that I miss her, even if I’m not in the mood to say so, or even if I have many things in my mind. I have the obligation to accommodate her expectation of my attention and reassurance.”
The Congolese commented.

“You mean, you do that because it’s what women expect from us unconditionally?” I asked

“Yes. You have to say three time I love you and I miss you, for every intimacy you wish for.” He said laughing out loud.

“Don’t misunderstand me…” he continued “You love your wife. You married her because you love her. But believe me, women expect you to continue telling them you love them and miss them until the graveyard.” He said, and we both laughed.

I got silent, listening intensely.

“For me, if men would fulfill women expecting for regular kind and supporting words, they’d get their regular treat with such intensity as the first day, and they’d would never have to think about banging the latest hot chicks.” The Congolese said.

We laughed synchronously, and tapped on each other shoulders while departing to the nearest restaurant for a good Italian cuisine in Verona.


About Mawuna KOUTONIN

Mawuna Koutonin is a world peace activist who relentlessly works to empower people to express their full potential and pursue their dreams, regardless of their background. He is the Editior of, Founder of, and Social activist for Africa Renaissance. Koutonin’s ultimate dream is to open a world-class human potential development school in Africa in 2017. If you are interested in learning more about this venture or Koutonin’s other projects, you can reach him directly by emailing at

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