Under the current socioeconomic paradigm of racism, It’s no secret that Black men are needy. Be not fast at crucifying me. By that, I mean, the system of racism functions in a way to have colored people economically weak and lacking confidence.
Double standards in justice, discrimination at finding jobs, education when it comes to Blacks, aren’t my inventions. We will agree that non- white(males predominantly) have more difficulty landing a job in most western countries.
Besides, they are less likely to meet an average western(ized) woman´s needs. Another aspect to emphasize is that very probable superiority complex of the White partner, confirmed by a quasi certain complex of inferiority of the non-white.
Voilà. From the prism of a system of production of goods and values under racism, a non-white partner becomes a weak player hypothetically. In short, most non-white potential partners aren’t mentally ready for interracial relationships.
I’m not sure whether it’s a sound advice to engage in a relationship from a weakness.
Terms & circumstances
What might strike the attention of any rigourous observant to human interactions is how the average western individual remains aware of a Self, while the expectation that non-whites are more openminded, is a widespread tendency. In other words, the non-whites make the best world citizens so to say.
On most cases, they are the ones speaking the language of their partner; they are the ones speaking a western language. Whereas a self-seclusion of the individual in the western world will be kept intact: western people have few to no knowledge about the rest of the world.
Besides, the average westerner isn’t used to perceive a Blackperson as intelligent, reliable or trustworthy. Consequently, my advice not to take interracial relationships for granted, can be explained by the already poisoned terms and circumstances under which two aspiring relationship partners meet. Such circumstances aren’t clean enough to allow sane and objective interactions, leave alone a solid relationship.
Toxic power dynamics
I would like to come back to the issue of complexes kept alive by cultural conditioning. Such complexes result in power dynamics, which if not dealt with properly, make the relationship a doomed enterprise.
Although any kind of relationship involves power dynamics somehow, interracial relationships under the paradigm of racism, are definitely marked by a bit too much power to the privileged side, I mean the White partner. That’s what often makes such relationship a problematic one.
If (s)he really loves you, it means (s)he understands racism or has tried at least. Most White individuals don’t understand racism. Therefore, either one (the non-white partner) should be prepared for an imminent failure or one must deal with the unbalanced mess in the household: disrespectful attitudes, humiliations, subtle bullyings, vampiricism…etc
Abusing one’s power isn’t a domain exclusively reserved for psychopaths or despots. Unaware people, those who won’t check anything; people with no self-reflection, are likely to abuse as well.
Negative power dynamics is when for instance your experience from your own homeland is shrugged off as being an “idea” by a potential partner who has never felt how life is like outside his/her own country.
Toxic power dynamics is also when your partner reminds you of his/her birthplace anytime you have an argument. “I’m born in the west”(to suggest “I’m born on a civilized world”?).
So what’s the problem, exactly?
Well, being White under the system of racism grants some amount of power per default. If (s)he doesn’t see the inequality in the beginning way before you start the relationship, you are digging your own grave being there.
All relationships have their problems. Every couple, regardless the cultural background or difference in phenotypes of partners, will deal with disagreements from time to time. But ignorance of racism is a clear sign to not even start any relationship of that kind.
If (s)he doesn’t understand racism, don’t do it. Does she try to sell you that “I-don’t-see-your-dark-skin, I-see-only-a-human-being”-crap? Run faster than Usain Bolt…for she doesn’t know what she is doing.
“But aren’t people free to do whatever they want?”; one might be asking.
Africans and people of African descent are paying the highest price under the current system of racism and White supremacy. If it’s true that people are entitled to their choice, the paradigm of racism, however, remains a pretty hard equation to solve.
This paradigm of racism is the problem, a headache we can´t leave at the mercy of individual liberties and choices. One should arm oneself with courage and say no to relationships that perpetuate the blatant global racism.
What to advise to those who are already engaged in an interracial relationship or have one in perspective?
Successful interracial relationships are possible only when involving conscious people, both sides. With the consciousness being much stronger than the “Love” element.
My advice would be: the awareness of racism should point further than the “love” element. A main reason for this is, once the awareness has paved the way for a mature relationship to develop, one won’t be either the abuser or the abused side.
The last thing our world needs is nurtured relationships out which children come just because a man has once been in need of that naturalization whereas a woman was just motivated by curiosity.
Interracial ralationship when taken for granted result in very difficult situations to which either the White partner or the non-white, even both can fall prey.
Be conscious. For only your consciousness will save your couple.